How do we cope with grief at special times like Christmas?
Our thoughts are with all those suffering the effects of grief and loss this Christmas season. The pain and significance of grief can suddenly be intensified through seasonal triggers like Christmas. Feelings that are difficult to manage at the best of times loom larger because someone’s absence is magnified by everyone else being together.
How can we cope with these events?
- Talk to someone about it ahead of time. That will help. The fear of not coping can make things worse in the build up to special days. Fear and dread can gnaw away at us making us anxious even before the day arrives.
- Give yourself permission: Permission to say NO - Be realistic about expectations of yourself. Have an arrangement where you can have a break if you need to. You don’t have to meet everyone else’s expectation. Permission to say YES - Give yourself permission to enjoy the occasion, it is alright to embrace moments in life without feeling guilty.
- It’s okay to talk about the person/people who are no longer with us. Acknowledge absent family members and friends. You may have some special way to do that that or it may be just in general conversation.
- Be around others who are understanding, if you can. Especially include being around children. It helps to focus our thinking on what we have and the future, and not just on our loss.
Do you have any ways that have helped you cope with grief at Christmas?